I just cannot seem to get going these days. I prefer being alone, and do not want to be bothered at all. I want quiet! My stress level is so off right now. I have no patience with anyone or anything. I hate myself most days because of this. There are so many things I could be doing, but just do not have the 'mental' energy to get up and do anything.

My girls are getting academic awards tonight, and i am still sitting here in my pj's. I need to get up and get in the shower and get ready. Part of me hates going due to the fact I feel like an embarrassment to my kids. They do not make me feel this way, it is all me. I really do not know why I feel like this. I have never cared much what others think of me, yet being in a wheelchair changed that. Being 6' tall I always walked into a room with a purpose, now I want to be invisible. Again, that is so not me.

Rog said if I don't feel well then it is ok if I do not go. The problem is I feel ok, I just do not want to go. But, knowing how bad my girls want me to go, I will. I really hate these feelings as I am a pretty sttrong woman and hate feeling ...wow I cannot even explain how I feel or a word for it. Pathetic maybe!! lmao I hate feeling pathetic.

OI Vay, sometimes life can stink. lmao Yet, I am still glad to be alive!!